Rate My Job

Jotting down ideas,
the worm couldn't help but note
the foggy presence.

Painful Suffering in Granville

Don't want to fall, don't
want to crash, don't want to eat
another pizza slice.

Walk Talk Balk

Smock lock dock clock flock
shock sock jock tock mock pock rock
wok gawk hawk knock Spock.

Indecisive Educators

Pop quiz Sherlock: what
does grin plus Wednesday equal?
Four quacks and a poof.

Cquengins

"Bwiash," said Polly.
"Eppoffor easah yashie
aawjo oxwadwa."

Book Face

Trade the junction for
the kangaroo. Then you win
the dedication.

Rocks the Poem

Poem of the rocks,
poem of the rocks, poem
of the rocks, rocks, rocks.

NO title???

Flizzbisting whizzbies,
that cantaloupe is hugeous!
Quizzically huge!

Candleball

Dank man, dank. That fat
popsicle is off the stick.
Grandpa says its so.

Simile #97

As fast as a blind
dragon, as towering as
fists of green anguish.

The Forced Habbits

Dracula never
considered implications
such as yellow clogs.

Field Trip

Granary crayons are
straw and wheat, wheat and straw, mouse
and fat dinosaur.

[Ed's Note: crayon has one or two syllables depending on how you pronounce it. I pronounce it "kran".]

Rocky Road W

The working yeti
can't count exact change for the
life of him. Poor dude.

Fangs

Hitting cantaloupes
with a baseball bat seemed like
a good idea.

Playing with Fires

Why should we steam the
radish toenails? Why not? The
wizard told us to.

Historical Tidbit

Hamburger diets
were all the rage in the mid
seventeen forties.

Life's Hard

Grappling with the
large decisions, Benny chose
chocolate ice cream.

Exclamation!

Period. Comma,
(parenthesis) "quotation"
and & semicolon;

Weird? No, Superman!

Carrying the load
of bouncy balls, Tim tripped and
they fell down the stairs.

Sound Effects Mandatory

Fwap! Smack! Kapoo! Oh,
the sounds of penguins towel
whipping cannonballs.

My Song

In the circle, the
circle of life... wait, that has
already been done?

Flight of the Queen

Ballistic babies
turn to cannibalism
in desperate times.

Mucho

Really, very much,
many, so many they fell
the roof, a lot, grapes.

Apple Salad

We rode the ferris
wheel, but weren't happy when it
got stuck. Forever.

Pop Rocks

Trapeze gelatin
is sticky and wobbly, though
fun to hit with sticks.

Can't Stop

Rolling, rolling, stop.
Sliding, tumbling, pushing.
Falling, falling, plop.

Bad Plans

Juggling fourteen
mad demons proved harder than
the instructions warned.

To Water

Hot
dog
Benny
saved up his
money to buy a
longer garden hose for himself.

[Ed's Note: This is not a haiku. It is a type of poetry sort of like a haiku called a fib. Fibs are based on the Fibonacci Sequence where the syllables in each line are 1/1/2/3/5/8.]

[Ed's Note 2: Yes, Benny's nickname is "Hot dog Benny".]

Candlelight For Crocodiles

While romantic, Ben
also thought being eaten
was not a good plan.

Experiment!

Cranapple juice soaked
through the beige carpet faster
than strawberry tea.

=

One plus two is three.
Eight plus three is eleven.
Nine plus six is five.

Tons Of Coins

The gutter is the
residence of Mr. and
Mrs. Weldopshwooshf.

random@email.addresses

small@ant.com
simba@lion.gov
babe@ruth.net

Adventure!

Gangplank heroes spent
fifteen straight hours playing chess
in the library.

Upturned Opera

My granary gave
the whole village supplies of
sequoia and leeks.

Gambling On Picnics

Tired of sitting
this chair, I threw it out the
window. Sorry goose!

Westerly 45

Galloping pretzels
almost overtook speeding
crescents, but kaboom!

An Epic Spill

The silverware drawer
crashed "bang!" to the floor
creating a huge-big mess.
The elves gave a roar,
the dwarves could but snore
for they could not handle the stress.
Then in through the door
came not three but four
of the monsters from great Loch Ness.
All then started the chore
but miss apple core
for she was mending her dress.

[Ed's note: This, most obviously, is not a haiku. It falls in the section of Haiku Haters, where such other poetries go.]

Exams! Woot!

Joy of one exam
done is quickly replaced by
studying for more.

Wafting In Paradise

In Detroit, people
enjoy counting pebbles while
sipping espressos.

Wednesday's Problems

Gargantuan golf
balls invaded the attic
in absurd numbers.

Tongue of Slobber

Eyes of ochre, hair
of dandelion petals,
nose of wet charcoal.

General Maintenance

Oh dear! It's almost
the end of the month! Time to
replace the vacuums!

Return of the Steve

Returning from the
mall, Steve wondered why he had
Jello in his trunk.

Crockpot of Filth? No, Boiling Pool.

Let the carrots hit
the floor! Let the carrots hit
the... Five second rule!

Grays Of Abandon

Why can gray be spelled
like that or also like grey?
A great mystery.

Pesky Little Critters

Blimps kept zooming near
his ears. He couldn't swat them
away fast enough.

It's Sort Of Embarrassing

Mashed potatoes tend
to get caught between my toes.
Please don't ask me how.

8825.94

After counting the
chicken eggs, we wondered when
we made the mistake.

So Sad

Foraging in the
rubble, pa said he couldn't
find my apple core.

No One Likes Diarrhea

"Not I," said the bear.
"Not I," said the hen. "Well... not
frequently," said Sven.

Balance of Powder

Goo. Cats. That's all that
can be said about the new
situation. End.

Trolley of Wonder

Up one. Down one. Up
one. Down one. Stupid stairs. Not
getting anywhere.

West Quest

Following the short
giraffe, the tourists wondered
if they were there yet.

Tiger Meats Hamburger

From five before four
on, the wall's behavior was
inexcusable.